I bet he comes in French.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
