I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
