Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
