i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Operation Purity has been aborted
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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