ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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