if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
