this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
