I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I could fuck to npr.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize