so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
