there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
