it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Your cock deserves a montage
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
