Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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