we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
