Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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