jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
