I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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