If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
