i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We need to get me chipped asap
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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