All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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