just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i now understand why vodka
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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