Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
