She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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