His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
