so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
