Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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