He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
bring money and cleavage
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize