oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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