those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
