When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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