Don't you send me to vm
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Success! We fucked roommates!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
