i just google imaged poop.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
