wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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