do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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