We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
