and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
