shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
