No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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