i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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