Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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