just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
