I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
