some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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