so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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