Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
