I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I supernannyed him into submission
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
