I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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