I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
honey bunches of taint.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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