nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
pray to the hookup gods
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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