I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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