he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
