At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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