So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
