I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
