Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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