I showed him my bush... on skype.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
