i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I could have mohawked her pubes.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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